Can you believe it? Four years with diabetes. I know, not a huge amount of time, but in our lives, and in Grace's life, it IS huge. I feel like I almost don't remember a time before we did all this diabetes stuff. Surely I do, I remember the baby years, the toddler years, the preshool years. And I do remember it. It just seems so far away I suppose.
But I'm not sure Grace remembers what her life was like before the D. That's some serious stuff, therapy-worthy, if you ask me. Yep, that's what four years does to someone when they are diagnosed at age 6. Just two more years and she will have had it for half her life.
We are in a different place with D these days. My girl is an independent soul. Oh, you noticed, didn't you? And the independence runs right through the D too.
'Mom, I'm taking my D kit, going to S's house. Be back later.'
'Mom, can I go for a walk around the block? Can I roller skate? Ride my scooter? I have some tabs in my pocket.'
'Mom, I got an invite for a sleepover for next week! Can I go?'
And she does it all. Often times without me. And that is a great thing. Just what I have aimed for all along - a girl who is confident, capable, able, makes decisions on her own, comes back to check in and consult, and rolls along with it all. Damn if I didn't actually get there in the pre-teen years with this girl.
It's hard to see some of the end game when you are in the midst of 6 and 7 and 8 year old care. But before you know it, it's upon you. They grow up. They start to do what has been done for them all this time. She temp basals, makes educated guesses, rolls her eyes at high carb meals served elsewhere, shouts out carb counts across tables, SWAGs like nobody's business. Just like I did all this time.
And there are times, just like in anyone's life, that she just wants to give it all up. She just wants to be the same as everyone else. And I stand there and ask her if she would like to hand it over to me for a few hours, a day, a morning or a night. Sometimes she stands her ground - 'No Mom, I got it, it's OK' and sometimes she readily hands me the whole thing 'Yes, please, just for a few hours.' And it's mine then, even though it really ever isn't. But I drive the D while she takes a break. And then she takes the reigns again, having slept, or not thought about BGs for a while.
Year Four rolls on. It will roll into 5, 6, 7...10...15...30... 50, God willing.
Year Four is about being herself with D. Her glorious, shining self.